Another Side

So much happened in the duration of half a year. So much that I am tired. Very tired.

Lately I am under pressure as this is the time where my future is being put on stake, or as I prefer to say it, being put on the pens and papers.

Trust me, there is nothing more stressful than knowing that if you mess up, your future will be bereft of the light cast from your dream.

So I am trying to cope with it, by talking to different kinds of people. Observing as much as I can, learning of their gestures, their emphasise on certain words as they speak, the way their eyes blink as they converse, how their hands move with every words that escapes their lips...

Yes I am aware that I sound like a very dangerous person, watching your every move while being right in front of you. Imagine me staring hard.

But no, I am not that kind of person who records every details of you and use them against you someday.

I am just observing, as I said before. I observe on how they talk about their problems, how they boast about certain talents they have, idle topics that seem to go on and on...

This is to achieve better understanding, to gain inspiration. I have learnt of their insecurities, of their confidence, of their level of commitment on something or someone.

In other words, I am absorbing their knowledge. I am trying to emulate their ways in dealing with different situations.

And the results are not that satisfying.

Different person yield different problems, which in turn require different methods to solve them.

"Ignore others and shine in your own way" was the only lesson meaningful enough for it to stick in my mind until now, dear You Who I Wish To Unseat. I hold true to that phrase from years ago.

Thank you, but now I want to take my own step forward without you leading the way. Call me ungrateful, but it is necessary for my own so-called evolution.

Just watch over me and I'll shower you with gratitute once I've succeed else if I fail I will return to learn once again.