Awakening To Moonlight

Secilia Luna. Crescent.

Their first PV and song that I tried, which immediately made me fall for them.

That was their first song with their new vocalist, Mirai.

There has been an announcement that they will be having a 2-months consecutive release.

I will be waiting with anticipation.

カナリア

I sink into this deep feeling in my heart

because somehow it comforts me.

Even though my eyes are stung by the tears I feel calm and content.

Yes, another Melodious Catharsis is needed. Now.

I miss you already.

KIMITOTE

A gloomy morning

but I will try to be as bright as I can.

I want to be in a high place, to be close to the sky.

Heart-rendering, the sound of these droplets are.

I feel better knowing that the Sun exists somewhere beyond the dark clouds.

Zettai mu

I feel heavy in heart.

Although I say I am depressed or whatever in online sites,

being with friends dissolves the sadness away.

I thank all of them, for being there with me.

So it is not an act.

Some people talk about someone who is always posting depressing phrases online, but when they meet the someone he is in fact quite happy.

Some say he is putting on a mask of happiness, hiding a grimacing face of tearful pain underneath.

The someone might also say in an ironic twist, "my smiles just now are fake".

That someone still can't understand his own heart, I would say.

So how will he be able to be honest to at least himself?

He lied to his own heart, saying that he is always alone and being in a perpetual sorrowful state

while in fact he is surrounded by people who want to share his pain and be there for him.

He is the one who pushes them away and let himself be swallowed by grief.






[Let go of the past and focus on the future.]

A phrase I like to recite to any poor soul in distress

while in fact I am still haunted by my own past and unable to escape someone's shadow.

If I want to move forward I will inevitably be drawn back to where I start.

Maybe it is a curse, or a punishment for abandoning one thing I really shouldn't have.





May I be forgiven someday...

Musical Catharsis

Yes, yet again I need to cast this away.

Refining.
Rebooting.
Refraining.

I want to break out of this cocoon and emerge anew.

『羊皮紙』FORGIVENESS IS NAUGHT

Everything eventually turns to dust and scatters in the wind

I was too consumed with the desire that my eyes went blind

My fragile hands bleed when I clasped them together in a prayer
I beg for forgiveness by this chapped lips that are wounded by cruel words uttered before
Foolishly I cry when the faint sunbeam fall onto my delicate skin

The pain intensify when I watch the faint violet colours of the darkening sky
Why do when I try to recall the memories of my miserable, short life my tears overflow again and again

The scorching pure light embraced me and soothes my withering body
I cannot even feel it when do I start to crumble away

My wickedness turns into the flame that consume me and it won't leave
My prayer hands are burnt before turning to dust

My wickedness turns into the thorns that bind me and cutting into my flesh
So deep the wounds that they do not bleed

All due to my wickedness....

任意

Friend: What to say... 'I can only see your flirting image in the night'?
Aki: Eh?! *laughs crazily*
Friend: *slit eyes* What's so funny!!



Friend 1: You were poked by [his name]. Poke back or remove?
Friend 2: Return fire! *gleefully laughs*
Aki: Now why does that sound familiar?
Friend 2: Facebook! Arrr!



Aki: Imagine the whole stuff fall onto you. *points at huge stack of boxes and iron bars*
Friend: Uh-huh. *keeps on typing on mobile phone*
Aki: Mobile phone sure is the best way to ignore lame jokes.
Friend: Uh-huh.



Instructor: You are from PTEK, right?
Aki: Yes.
Instructor: What's the name of the senior there? The supervisor?
Aki: I've been in Kendo for about one year.
Instructor: *widen eyes* Sorry, what?
Aki: *smiles* Uh, what?
Others: *laughs*



Instructor: Open up your legs wide.
Aki: That sounds weird.
Partner: Be quiet and concentrate.



Instructor: 'Kiai' (shout) anything loudly, as long as I can hear the echo in this hall.
Friend 1: AYAAAAAM!
Friend 2: SUSHIIII!!
Friend 3: DURIAAAAAN!!



Friend 1: It's been a while, yo.
Friend 2: KAU LAGI!



Friend: He's pretty anti-social. *points at Aki*
Acquaintance: No, he looks more like a nerd.
Friend: *shots a look at the acquaintance*
Acquaintance: What? It's true.
Aki: *curses silently*

1 Minute

Today I experienced the longest one minute in my life.

This is even longer than waiting for my Maths class to finish.

I had a pseudo-shiai today with a seasoned Kendo-ka.

Honestly I let go of everything and my instincts took control.

Adrenaline pumped, everything was slowed in my field of vision.

I lashed out with all my might, swinging the imitation of the Japanese sword toward my opponent's head.

It slammed onto his shinai and bounced back in disappointment.

I took a step back and prepared to mount another attack.

I remember only bits of it, so that's all I can say.

One of my fellow Kendo-ka said I fight clumsily but fierce.

Now my arms ache.

Really should not had strike him strongly~ \(> A <)/

Realisation

Just writing blindly will not do.

Therefore I must strive to learn music theory and stuffs.

Wait for me,

it's still a long way for me to reach you

but I will never give up.

『異常の声』 ~prelude for insanity~

I have become insecure by the constant thoughts of being inferior
So much that I just want to crawl and die silently

No remorse, another lost voice is found
My broken nails, bloodied, splintered
Are clawing at my chest to rip out my own insane heart
My eyes, red overflowing with blood, seethe with madness and hatred
The knife I used to scrape all the filth is being sharpened and pierces my chest

So much, so much
Do you realise it
You won't understand this dark pain
You don't understand me anymore
You won't wait for me anymore
You won't, you don't want to, it's so painful

I want to hate and curse my own existance
Why do I even being born to fall into this chasm of chaos
Insanity I embraced now, consumes everything
Into the cradle of desire, the blood-red roses' bed

I have become insecure by the constant thoughts of being inferior
So much that my senses dimmed and I gradually crumble

So much, so much
The guilt of being here to coexist is unbearable
The grotesque of human emotions are just too much and I succumb to my own shattered mind

So much
The blades of red petal dance to my whimsical growls

So much
The pain I want to scrape with the knife beside me

So much
I have been reduced to nothingness

A beautiful sigh

Kono Yoru wa...

It's such a beautiful night.


I'm gonna spend it with being surrounded by music.


Sitting on the most comfortable chair, leaning back...

It has been quite some time since I last do that.








This is sooo relaxing ( - w - )