Being Shallow

I totally HATE it when people make fun of my favourite songs.

I was listening to Cassis again and again with the volume cranked out loud when one of my peers came. We talked about something personal for quite a while. Then Ruki said the word "mama..." heart-achingly, in which my peer stiffled a laugh.

"What is this song about? A guy who missed his mommy?"

At that moment random thoughts ran through my head, considering what sadistic mind torture should I inflict on that person. But then I realised something.

She totally didn't know how to appreciate good music.

Cassis - the GazettE

I just downloaded it a few days ago. I think it was, you know, beaty and chaotic, because I only listened to one of their song before, Burial Applicant, which was pretty upbeat and hardcore. So I played the song on iTunes and braced myself for the beat...

...and I found out that it was, in fact, melodic.

Really, it caught me on surprise. I didn't expect it to be like that. And I like it when that happens, nyahahaha-HA!

So, the song was melancholic in lyrics. You could actually feel the sorrow in Ruki's voice. And I liked the piano in this song.

So after listening to this song for about an hour repeatedly, I decided to watch the PV. I found one on Brunei JRock Fans. I liked what I saw in it. Everyond looked sad in the PV, huhuhu... The scene in which a white feather fall onto Ruki's opened hand, I love that.

After that, I was determined to velge myself deeper into the lyrics, and fast. So I took a shortcut: Google the translation (did I mention I'm not fluent in Japanese? At least yet, I hope).

So I found out that I was correct, the lyrics was truly melancholic. It was from someone who apologised to his beloved one because he always hurts her. He stated that even if she begins to hate him, his love will remain unchanged. They forget all the painful days by being close to each other. With each night passing without the sight of her, he becomes more restless.

This song is about letting go of someone you care the most to avoid hurting her anymore...

"I will walk together, the future not promised. It keeps walking together, to future in which you are..."

Cross-dressers

For your information, Versailles is an all-male band. Yup, Hizaki included.



Now to those unfamiliar to this, you may think "aww, gross!", "disgusting!".

It's not gross, it's fashion.

Mana, for example, is often referred as 'she'. Even I was fooled by his appearance at first. He have an amazingly feminine body (I'm not a fetish, I'm just telling you what I observed) and a surprisingly masculine voice. I saw him for the first time in a video in 2006, I think. It was an interview with Malice Mizer during Gackt's era (Kami was still alive at that time...). I was like, "what a hottie..." in which a friend of mine began to stare at me with a dead serious expression.

"Uhh, what hottie?"
"That one. The one with the gosurori dress..."
"WHAT?! Are you R***RDED!! It's Mana!"
"Ooh, Mana? Beautiful name."
"Yeah, beautiful name for a beautiful M-A-N."

So much for the love at first sight... *sigh...*

Cross-dressing is not unfamiliar in Japan, you know... Gothic lolita is an all-gender type of fashion. It usually consist of a person dressing up like a cute Victorian doll. It incorporate a bit of goth element and the lolita fashion, thus the name (ahaha, 'duh'...).

If I can, I would like to dress like Hizaki. Unfortunately there are objections from my friends. Some of them told me to keep my masculine side and the girls threatened to stick needles into my eyes if I ever do. Not to mention public reaction in Brunei. Probably my photos will be captured and posted at Brunet as "Bukan Budaya Kita".

Everytime you see a male dressed up like that anywhere, wipe out the 'gay' term you're about to say. It is 'Gothic Lolita'. Welcome to the world of Japanese fashion.

And step into the world I have already stepped into.

My Dream

Since Visual Kei is not known to most Bruneian, there must be someone who dare to introduce it here.

I, on the other hand, want to open up a cafè that is incorporated with V-Kei elements. 'Gaze en Rokku', ehehe (can't think of another name).. It is a place where Visual Kei fans can be themselves, complete with their attires. And there will be a stage, where bands can perform their favourite J-music. As the customers enjoy their meals, J-Rock songs will be the background music.

I hope this will come true... That place will be my kind of heaven..

Matsumoto Hideto

Today, 13th December is Matsumoto Hideto's birthday...

He is also known as 'hide', the leader of the band X-Japan...

X-Japan is a legend among Visual Kei bands, one of the original pioner to the movement. I only know 4 of them: Malice Mizer, Luna Sea, BUCK-TICK and X-Japan.

Rest in peace, hide...

Debate With Boneheads

Ah... So today I was feeling fine. Nothing to do other than watching some DVDs and listening to my songs and checking my Friendster.

Apparently some JRock fans despised Visual Kei bands. Many of my friends who LOVE JRock said that they don't like Visual Kei very much. What a drag... They said that even without striking appearances someone can be famous with just their talents in musics. Again, what a drag... The way they said it, it was like they were telling us Visual Kei bands have no talents at all...

THAT IS SO WRONG!!

Look at Dir en Grey and the GazettE!! Read their lyrics carefully! They are written beautifully. Dir en Grey's vocalist and lyricist often blends certain issues with his songs like child abortion, evident in the song Obscure. Ruki, vocalist of the GazettE is known for his high quality lyrics! Dammit, these guys are talentless you said??!!

Someone help me deliver some sense into the persistant hearts of theirs...

Barairo no Sekai

This is the one I waited for. I just want to hold you in my arms. Trace your face, hear your breathing, feel your heartbeat... I do not wish to part with you anymore...

Hey, is this the only way we can be together? That is so vexing... To wait for you until the dark, standing here and being gripped with loneliness. Whenever I see anyone trying to get near me, I will immediately act hostile. I do not want them, I want you... Kimi wa ore no mono da... I do not want anyone to be where you are supposed to be.

You are my fallen angel, with the dark-feathered wings that are so majestic in my eyes. Descend upon me from your heaven and take me there. Embrace me with your cold hands and hold me close. I yearn for your touch...

Everywhere I look, everywhere I go, I always see the world in red. Perhaps it is you who made me view the world like this. Even the clouds have a tint of roses' colour. It is very regal. I watch them unblinked, they are precious... I am afraid to close my eyes. If I do I will regret it...

There you are, making me more positive. You changed how I view the world. Instead of black and white, I now see in colours. Red colours, to be exact, many different shades of red. Although it might be creepy, but somehow I love it.

Thank you...

Just Another One...

I went to somewhere with my friends. Three of them sported these hair that have bangs cover one of their eyes. So this is what we received:
We entered a restaurant. Cuz of our striking appearance almost everyone turned to look at us. Awkward right? But that's not all. I that time didn't wear anything extremely Visual Kei, just the hair and a choker.
We went to an empty table. On the way there I just happened to hear a conversation.

"Whoa, a group of emos".
"Sure it is!" *laughs*

I looked at the couple who said that. They were watching us like we were things on display. The girl who laughed before noticed that I was looking at them and signaled her friend to look away.

That was one of the hardship I experienced after adopting this style. The people here are not so open. They see bangs cover one eye, they said emo. Hey, I have an emo friend and yet he don't have the hair! I know he's one because he cuts himself (showing off, dude). This means having the hair doesn't mean one's an emo. Just look at Kamijo or Sakito. They are not considered emo! What are the things that we lack to be wholy recognised as Visual Kei?

Somebody tell me please...

Truth Behind Words

Disappearing with leaving pieces
of the memories of the time I spent with you
We'll never be able to retrieve them
I don't even want to call them memories

I walked bearing, bearing this melancholy
I cannot move the unbearable colors

The place where I can be myself
it's losing its light
Weakness, strength and everything
You always watched over me

Recalling, recalling your inerasable memories
Just one more time, one more time
I want it to let it reflect in my eyes
I really want to touch you right now

Wiping up tears with this ever sinking feeling
Whenever I can't sleep I'm always, always thinking of you

Please, I want to see you
as if your presence fills the sky
Always, always until the day you reflect it in my eyes

Recalling, recalling your inerasable memories
Just one more time, one more time
I want it to let it reflect in my eyes
I really want to touch you right now


:: Translation of - Vision of You by Rentrer en Soi ::

Totally...

Ore wa emo janai...
Ore wa emo janai...
Ore wa emo janai...
Ore wa emo janai...
Ore wa emo janai...
Ore wa emo janai...
Ore wa emo janai...
Ore wa emo janai...

Insomniac

So I am one of the people who is cursed with insomnia. *sigh* Tomorrow surely I'll have panda eyes... But on the bright side I can spend time to watch the sky while listening to my songs.

The way each day just getting worse, but I never regret that I choose Visual Kei as my style, my life. My old friends were surprised when I started listening to the songs. Some even left me, saying that I had changed. That's true, I had changed BUT in a good way! It's better this way than my previous one.

Before Visual Kei, honestly I was on the verge of becoming what people called 'Emo'. I even had those universally-recognised Emo bangs. I was a loner by nature, and also silent. I mean, only some of my friends ever heard my true voice. Yeah, actually I'm hiding my true voice, concealing it with a sort-of whiny sounding. That voice is usually used before people who I trusted the most, and that's only a handful.

*sigh* The sky looked dark, there were not too many stars. Tried to count them but stopped, that was just downright stupid.

Back to the topic, after adopting Visual Kei, I lost some friends and gained new ones. This new ones didn't even judge my taste in music, they didn't care about it. They really were wonderful... They shared with me their songs, asking me opinions whether I find them beautifully sung or something :D. I find that act soothed me.

I'm glad, really glad... Although they didn't actually approve Visual Kei music but they didn't say that it sucks, too. Yokatta nee...

Long post ends here. Thank you if you read it from the beginning til the end...

Kono...

Yo, hajimemashita. Ore no nama, Haravi.

Okay, enough with the Japanese. For one thing, I'm not that good in it. Most of the time I use either my native language, which is Malay, and English.

So, hi. Welcome to my blog. This blog is created to express myself and my life after I make Visual Kei my favourite music. It's frustrating when I tell my friends about a new song and they seem uninterested.

Example:
Me: Hey dude, listen to this new song. It's Miyavi's.
Nakama: Really?
Me: Yeah. Isn't it cool?
Nakama: Sure, sure... Hey, I heard you have those new Slipknot songs. Could you play those instead?

Get it?

So again, welcome to my blog. Welcome to the bits of my life I'm willing to share...