It is quite obvious, and it is getting annoying.
The way you look at me. The way your eyes shine when you speak to me. The way you move when I return your gaze with a small wave.
Please do not misinterpret that as an indication of an affection.
I am just being polite, not wanting to leave your smiles unanswered.
But it is getting worse.
I want to break your heart but I cannot bring myself to it.
Because that will also hurt me if I know I have draw tears from a woman.
Though I want to end all your happy fantasies, I also want you to end it yourself.
If you see me as having a beautiful personality, I will show you my ugliest one.
If you think I am a soft-spoken person, I will shout words that are considered impolite out loud.
If you think I am someone who can tolerate constant nagging, I will leave you if you start talking.
But I cannot do any one of these.
There are rules within my subconsciousness that I have to obey.
I am trapped by the rules I have written myself.
I can only watch as it goes on and on.
I feel so helpless.
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