TOGE

Like the ebbing waves, this feeling in my chest subsides and returns once more.

I wonder why is that.

I find myself reading to William Blake's poetry nowadays. They have the quality I want to posses.

Though they can hardly smoother the flames sometimes.

I think, it's best to just stay at a distance and watch. The person whom I avoid, is actually a glass bottle. Once explodes, the shards will wound many people nearby.

Someone who gives out easily to anger... I'm sorry but I'm often disgusted in their acts.

I have been exposed to that situation when I was still a small child. Someone lost his head and began his rampage in front of me.

Idiot. What an idiot.

I can't look at his face without remembering how his eyes were dark, burning with hatred when he threw his fists against the door. How he bellowed with a voice more animal than human while he let his destructive instinct took over his body, relinquised control to the mad black flame in his heart.

I don't have a very memorable childhood. At least, according to my own hazy memories...

But that scene was burnt deeply into my mind and is still are.

The fear... A child's mind is so pure and innocent. It captures a lot of things that will remain with him/her until they grow up.

I have been shaped by the horrors I faced during my period of upbringing. Though the family try their best to protect me...

...I'd say they tend to be one step too late.

It's okay.

Am I still in a chrysalis, or have emerged anew?

Chrysalis, a hard skin beneath the shedded one. It prevents any damage done to the developing body of the soon-to-be butterfly, from which it will break out from and spread out its wings.

A question finds its way into my mind, how does the caterpillar knows the right moment to emerge?

It doesn't.

It is simply a beast of instinct.

It does not think. It acts accordingly instantly.

Maybe we can learn something from it.