25mg of Seroquel

I'm trying to return to the point where it all changes.

Along the way, I saw a lot of things that I took for granted in the past.

Re-reading some of them make me see things at different perspective, way different from what I interpreted years ago. Is this the sign of ignorance in the past, or proof that I have become slightly better than before? I'll never know.

Even with the prescribed dosages, we're still unable to stop ourselves from self-destructing. The negative thoughts are still there, creeping around, waiting with bared teeth. They will seize every chance they have to devour us, leaving nothing but a broken mind.

We are surrounded by a crowd of cold people, all gazing straight ahead carrying black briefcases. All in their own worlds, each with their own set of masks. Is today require me to smile? Perhaps a frown is needed to match the mood of the gray sky.

The deceased refuse to leave.

"I'm still alive."

"I do not want to disappear."

They still lurk inside the people they leave behind. Inside these people's hearts, the deceased won't age. Only the dead remains seventeen forever. In a way, this stirred a feeling of envy.

Swallow the pills quickly. This way, we won't heard the farewell.

Without saying "Goodbye", we won't cease to exist. We will continue to live. A being without a physical form, sleeping in memories of others.

The sun brings light, and the road is already full. The click-clack of shoes against the pavement. The sickening hum of car engines. The desperate cries of birds looking for food. The smell of cheap cologne and perfumes and aftershave. The stench of dried sweat and moss.

There's no need for fear. We gaze into our phones to ignore everything. The world is a distraction, full of things we do not like. Why not create an artificial one and fill it with our own guilty pleasures? Time flow differently and we set the laws ourselves.

Now only 'goodbye' remains.

Please don't say 'goodbye'. We won't be us anymore if we do. We do not want to be forgotten. Even if the world is rotten to the very core, we don't want to leave.

The sin is too great, and we still have our duties.