Nameless Cog in the Machine

ああ。ここで。この場所。
That's right. Here, at this place.

Surrounded by the forest, the brown cabins that give out the sense of tranquil. That place far from the main capital. That was the place where I wanted to start a new life.

A green meadow spread right across the road. Nature is abundant here, and we wouldn't be alone.

It is too late now.

I'd like to think that I have already gotten through this ordeal. Unfortunately, it is not that easy. For this, I cannot lie to myself.

大丈夫。
It's okay.

In this everlasting dream, there is an eternal winter. A perpetual snowfall. All is covered by the thin white layer.

I clasp my hands and look up to the sky. There, in the middle of the sky. There is the sun, faint and gloom, saddened by the fact that its place is taken by the clouds.

I smile. Here, there's nothing to be afraid of. I am not alive, but I am also not dead. I am a projection of someone whose wish is to escape the reality, however briefly.

There's no reason for any hurt, and I am free here. I don't carry my burdens and wounded conscience into the dream. I am free. I am normal. I am happy.

No. That's not it.

It is more like I feel nothing at all.
It is more like I am thinking of nothing at all.

Because of that, I am not burdened by my own thoughts. My mind is clear, and I have a dream there.

次の歌を歌う。
I sing the next song.

I exist here, in this cruel reality, for what? Where will I end up, and what will I be in the future? How long will I be here?

This anxiety, it is a defect in this otherwise perfect brain. We are all created complete, and once we are broken, we remain broken forever.

We are part of the gear, and I am a nameless cog in the machine.

I am heading back. There's nothing for me to do in the present, and future is still very far. My only option is to go back. I am tracing back the path I took and see the old scenery once again.

It will be tough, I know. I need to wade through all the pleasant memories once again. I may end up even more broken than now, but my gut tells me I am doing the right thing.

My old bubble. My old sanctuary. My old self.

生きてるよ。
もう、生きてるよ。
In this place, where no one can reach.
I am becoming more and more transparent.
I am becoming easy to see through, but I am also disappearing,
 dissolving in this clear aquamarine liquid.